Schell of a Man

So if the whole teaching thing doesn't work out for me here, I could always fall back my most valuable assets, that's right, my looks. I could always become a model. Wednesday night only confirmed this suspicion for me.

On Tuesday we, Bryan and I, were asked to appear in a commercial for a new bar that just opened here in Shaoxing, it's name is the “Soho International Elite (Entertainment) Club.” It's an upscale bar/club that is trying to attract high-class clientele. So of course they would want us there. On Wednesday afternoon I met with the manager of the bar, Mr. Tong, who could speak no English, to arrange the details of the evening. Mr. Tong was more than excited to see me. Apparently the bar was going to have a cowboy theme and he had been hoping to find a couple of American-looking men to dress up like cowpokes. His excitement increased when Kevin, our translator/booking agent, told him that I was from "the middle of America, where all the cowboys are." I, of course, confirmed this and said that it would be nice to change back into a pair of chaps and boots since I had left mine back in the US.

We arranged to be picked up that night in front of our apartment and to be accompanied by a student, Celina, who would act as our translator. The plan was to wear jeans and any cowboy-looking clothes we had and they would furnish the hats and bandanas. We would simply hangout in the bar in our costumes and at some point they would come take pictures of us. The kicker: anything we ordered that night would be on the house, as well as any other time we wished to come back.

We arrived at the nearly empty bar around 8:30 that night, where we were shown to our table in the middle of the bar and given the night's attire: black hats and red bandanas. We ordered a couple of beers and a fruit plate (actually we didn't order the fruit plate it was just sent to us) and sat for while. We were pretty much ignored for the first half hour, with the exception of the usual pointing and laughing from the bar staff. So we decided we would explore the rest of the establishment to see how the other half lives.

The bar was three stories tall with the top two floors divided up into different size private rooms, which were quite nice. They were all decked out with couches, coffee tables and three to five televisions (I think so you can watch different programs on the small ones and sing karaoke on the big one). Everyone that we passed turned and stared at us. To see real Americans wearing real cowboy outfits, just imagine! I suppose it didn't help the stereotype that I was strutting around bow-legged, tipping my hat to everyone and giving the pistol fingers.

We returned to our table as more people started to enter. We sat for a little while before we were asked to go up on a little raised platform in the center of the circular bar and dance, which of course we were more than happy to do. This was the only point of the night when anyone took pictures of us. After the dancing we returned to our table and played dice. After a while we moved to a more comfortable and secluded part of the bar. Around 10 pm Celina, our translator, had to leave but we decide to stay and do some more people watching. We also grabbed a menu and ordered a little late-night Indonesian fried rice. We finally left around 11 pm, a little confused about whether we had fulfilled our contractual obligations.

I think the general idea is that Mr. Tong would like us to occasionally go to his bar simply to be seen and add a level of sophistication to his bar. So it will be interesting when we go back to see what kind of treatment we receive, or if they even remember us. Anyways, if you want to come visit, now you know it will be high-class all the way and drinks are on me. (You may just have to wear a cowboy hat).